Fast & Furious 9 - Movie Review

 Hey family it sounded like stallone not not vin diesel but before we get started i do want to thank the sponsor of this video this video is brought to you by nordvpn nordvpn is a vpn service that protects you your accounts and your devices from the ever prying eyes and the spies of the internet because we are in the information age data and information that's the currency and you want to protect yours

there's a nordvpn app for windows mac os ios android linux and even android tv and if you're here i assume we're all movie and tv show people so you can still view your favorite content even if you're abroad because you can choose between over 5 300 servers and 59 regions so click the link below to go to nordvpn.com john's or enter promo code john's get yourself a two-year plan and a bonus gift at a huge discount and most importantly protect your information and thank you once again to nordvpn for sponsoring this video i do appreciate it right now this is it's just so fast nine is the ninth movie in the fast and furious franchise funny story i saw neil degrasse tyson in seattle i actually his whole thing was him talking about physics and movies i didn't know that when i went to see.him i just wanted to see him talk about physics i wanted a lecture but it was like oh movies had no idea but all right now now there's that connection with what i do and he made the statement which is probably very true i feel like it was more true before this movie but he said the movie armageddon breaks more laws of physics every 15 seconds than any movie in cinematic history it is probably still true but after fast nine only just ridiculous doesn't cover this movie and the fast and the furious movies were movies that i've always enjoyed well i mean since fast five i heard they got good before fast five but i saw the first two and i was like okay i never saw tokyo drift because like all right not my thing never saw the fourth one and then i worked at the movie theater and had a youtube channel so i saw fast five and i was like oh wow this is actually pretty [ __ ] awesome the movies since haven't been as good as fast five but i've always been on board you know i feel like the fast family versus submarines is about is apparently as much as i can take because this movie it's like every movie is like we have to out do the last one problem is you get to the point with you're just numb i have never seen so much [ __ ] thrown at the screen and so much [ __ ] thrown at the protagonists and me going yeah i guess it's happening that's fair things are happening a lot of things the weird state of indifference i was in and i don't know how someone could be so catatonically bored when so many things are happening so much [ __ ] is being thrown on screen but there i was actually i do know because there's no tension you know that it's not like dom's gonna get cut in half by one of the 47 cars being thrown on screen because of really huge magnets as they're going a hundred miles an hour down the road he's not gonna go down like that you know the crew's not gonna go down like that because we've been with them for too long this isn't game.of thrones or anything right so you know how it's going to play out and that's what you're doing you're just watching it play out because you don't need speed for tension you don't need a lot of action for tension the more [ __ ] you throw on screen actually it takes away from tension i mean it doesn't have to you can have a lot happen if you establish hey this is a very dangerous scenario but you it never feels dangerous because it's not dangerous it would be dangerous if this was a movie where this didn't happen but this is the movie so it's not dangerous well you take that scene from indiana jones in the last crusade the speed at which these tanks are driving is 1 20th the speed of any of the cars in this movie the scene where indiana jones is satchel it's caught on one of the guns and he's about to smash into the cliff that's pretty intense no tension in this movie things just happen and if you're going to go that route i would hope the family element because you know that's what dom toretto is all about right like dom's all about family until this might be spoilerish i'm gonna all right spoilerish just so you know i'm gonna keep this up for as long as i talk about this and then it'll go away right so when they were kids something happened their dad died then dom was like there was a problem with dad's engine my brother was the last one to look at the engine obviously he murdered our dad that was where he went mr family was like i'm not going to talk to my brother i'm not going to be like hey did you notice a thing in dad's car no he was like obviously you murdered him leaps this is another thing this movie does a lot of leaps everyone goes there's so many leaps people go from a to z.and they just make these connections that might be an exaggeration definitely aided are pointless there's a scene in here where tyrese gibson and ludacris are like hey did you see that guy's ears he has cauliflower ears he fights for a living obviously he's one of the bad guys but the guy's just he's working his job and but they turn out to be right that's a lucky pull but there's so many lucky pulls and if there's no tension in the action scenes at least there's no tension when people are trying to figure out what's going on because they don't actually have to try to figure out what's going on they just kind of get there and even then i don't know why dom's brother's doing what he's doing i don't know why he's the antagonist what's his thing he went from got brother issues to yeah we're gonna go ahead and enact goldeneye times a million because guess the money's good sure why not as good a reason as any that's what i have to go on it's just the logical leap that's the leap i have to make and i might be wrong because this is reality i actually love tyrus gibson and ludacris in this movie i thought they had great chemistry together they're funny they have good banter it was smart pairing them up and keeping them paired up in this franchise in terms of what's enjoyable in this movie they're out of this world zing armageddon just it's just barely guys in the end i feel like fast and furious has run its course i imagine there should be another movie because 10 is just this nice number to end on why go to 10 when we can stop it at nine that's just numeric blue balls if jason happen there has to be a fast right where the fast family goes to alpha centauri what else can they do but it's run its course because it ceased to be interesting you know we're not even dealing with reality at this point it's a movie that goes at 500 miles an hour but has all the thrills of standing still this might be the worst of them because i'm not gonna remember this movie in t minus one day yup already forgot anyhow so fast nine have you seen it what did you think about it whatever you thought comment below let me know and as always if you like what you've seen here and you want..